


you had your soul with you

by somehowunbroken



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate universe homophobia, Alternate universe serious injury, Established Relationship, M/M, Multiverse, Universe Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27483952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/pseuds/somehowunbroken
Summary: TK wouldn’t say he’s the kind of guy who really thinks about alternate universes much. But then Hartsy has to go and say something about alternate universe TK not being with alternate universe Nolan, and now he can'tstopthinking about it.He has to do something about it, obviously.
Relationships: Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick
Comments: 57
Kudos: 278
Collections: Hockey Big Bang (2020)





	you had your soul with you

**Author's Note:**

> this fic has been in the works for almost a year at this point, and it truly takes an entire village! in this case, the village is the server. i could not have done it without your support and, frankly, your idea. special shoutout to calla and canary, both of whom read this in its infancy and told me that it was worth continuing.
> 
> undying thanks to logan for patiently fixing everywhere that got fucky when i decided last minute to find/replace "travis" with "tk." <3
> 
>  **note about the warnings:** all the bad stuff that happens is in alternate universes, and it all happens off-screen. the after-effects are discussed on-screen, but that's it.
> 
> title from the national's "[you had your soul with you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBcVrb-snPk)."

TK wouldn’t say he’s the kind of guy who really thinks about alternate universes much.

To be more specific, he doesn’t think about them at all. He hadn’t really paid attention in physics while he was still in school, and he sure as hell hadn’t taken any of the advanced courses where they really dove into that kind of thing, either. He knows that there are other universes out there, and some of them are pretty similar to this one but some of them are weird, like ones where he’s a horse or lives in space or doesn’t play hockey. None of those things are really worth thinking about, if you ask TK, so he just. Doesn’t.

And then—

"You know what’s weird?" Hartsy says thoughtfully one day. They’re in the locker room, slowly getting changed after a shitty, gruelling practice.

"No, what?" TK asks when it becomes clear that Hartsy's waiting for an answer.

"You and Patty," Hartsy says.

TK rolls his eyes. "Wow. Thanks. Hockey is for everyone, asshole."

Hartsy laughs. "No, I mean," he says, gesturing to where Nolan’s picking at his sock tape and looking like he’s considering going home as is. TK can relate. Skate was brutal. 

"You mean," TK repeats. This sure is an interesting conversation.

"Just, like," Hartsy says, shrugging. "There are universes out there where you and Patty aren’t together."

TK snorts. "No way."

"Yes way," Hartsy says. "That’s how it works. No two universes are the same, so somewhere there’s one where you’re not together. There are ones where you haven’t even met."

"Ones where he’s a horse," TK mutters. His teacher had been really stuck on the horse thing. 

"Yeah," Hartsy says, turning back to his pads. "I was just thinking about how weird that would be, that’s all."

And, well. Now TK is, too. 

-0-

"You ever think about, like," TK says, then stops.

"I try not to," Nolan deadpans, and yeah, TK earned that one.

"There are alternate universes out there where we’re not together," TK says, because subtlety is for other people.

Nolan blinks. "That’s what’s been making you make that face all day?"

TK scowls. "Hartsy said something, and—"

Nolan snorts again. This particular snort is calling TK a dumbass. "Stop listening to Hartsy."

"He’s not wrong," TK says. "That’s how the multiverse thing works, right? Sometimes it’s close, but sometimes it’s weird."

Nolan shrugs. "I mean, sure," he says. "But we live in a universe where you made a total idiot out of yourself asking me out four and a half minutes after meeting me, so—"

"I was so smooth, shut the actual fuck up," TK cuts in.

Nolan reaches over and pats him on the thigh. "Not even close, bud."

TK scowls again. "Remind me why the fuck I love you."

Nolan shrugs. "I give good head?"

"You’re not wrong," TK says, trying not to grin. "I guess your personality’s okay or whatever too."

"Wow," Nolan says, voice extra monotone. "I’m so flattered."

"No, it’s growing on me," TK says. "Like mold or something."

"You know what, alternate universe me who isn’t with you probably found a nice boy to bring home," Nolan says. "Lucky bastard."

TK scoffs. "You love me, don’t even."

Nolan’s face displays an emotion for a hot second, and TK mentally fistpumps. "I mean, obviously."

"Obviously," TK says, flopping into Nolan’s space on the sofa and grinning when Nolan just throws an arm over his shoulder. 

He doesn’t stop thinking about the alternate universe versions of them, though.

-0-

"So, like," TK says. He's sitting closer to Hartsy than he normally would; he's not, like, scared of Hartsy or anything, but he knows how goalies get about rituals. Hartsy can be… _very_ goalie.

Hartsy doesn't say anything, but his hands pause on his skate lace for maybe two and a half seconds. It's an opening, TK figures.

"The, like," TK says, pitching his voice lower. "The alternate universe me and Patty who aren't together."

Hartsy actually makes eye contact with him, and TK has to work hard not to reel back when he speaks. "What about them?"

TK tries to look casual, but he can feel how tight his shoulders are when he shrugs. "How do I fix it?"

Hartsy stares at him and doesn't blink even once. "That's not your call, Teeks."

"Have I ever once minded my own business?" TK asks, daring to lean a little closer. "Like, even once in the entire time you've known me?"

Hartsy huffs out what TK is generously going to call a laugh as he turns back to his skates. "Leave it be."

"No," TK says. "No way."

Hartsy sighs and looks up at him. "You need a hopper," he says. "Like, the universe-hopping things, the ones they only just approved for civilian use."

"Okay," TK says, nodding like he knows exactly what that is and how it works. Whatever, he has Google. "And then what?"

"And then you go find alternate universe versions of yourself and bother them," Hartsy says. "Probably alternate universe versions of me, too. I've done a terrible thing to my universal self, and I should probably apologise."

"I'm a fucking delight," TK announces as he stands. Someone in the room snorts, but he's a pro, so he ignores them. "Thanks, Hartsy."

"Go away," Hartsy says, which is basically goalie-speak for _you're welcome, you absolute gem of a human._ TK is sure of it.

"Hey," Nolan says when TK sits next to him. "Maybe don't piss off the goalie, eh?"

"Hartsy loves me," TK protests.

Nolan raises both eyebrows. "I was gonna ask if everyone who loves you tells you to go away, but I told you that like four times last night before dinner, so that might be a yes."

TK grins and bumps his shoulder against Nolan's. "Aw, baby, don't worry. I know you love me best."

"I guess," Nolan mutters, and TK's grin gets wider.

-0-

The thing about alternate universes is that even now, as he's considering going universe-hopping for fun, TK _still_ doesn't really understand how the whole thing works.

"Dude," Kevin says when he asks. "You think I took advanced physics classes?"

TK frowns. "I don't need to know, like, how the hopper thing works," he says. "I just want to know the basics."

"Can I introduce you to my friend?" Kevin asks, voice way too earnest. "Her name is Wikipedia. She's pretty smart."

"You're useless," TK decides, standing up. "Why did I think this was a good idea? This was a terrible idea."

Kevin snorts. "I know I'm older and wiser, bud, but I don't understand the multiverse."

"Well, you're definitely older," TK says, dodging as Kevin launches a throw pillow at him.

-0-

"I mean," the confused-looking girl at the Sharper Image store in the mall says to him, frown line between her brows, "you don't really need to understand it to make the hopper work."

TK blinks. "Wait, I don't? I thought I'd need to, like, calibrate it really specifically or something."

She laughs. "No way," she says, holding her wrist out to show off the universe hopper she has fixed there. "We wouldn't be able to sell them to the public if you needed a degree to make them work. They're tied to this universe's frequency already, so all you have to do is program in the coordinates of the place you want to go, and you can pop there in an instant. All you need to do to come back is hit the home button, and you'll appear wherever you leave the responder on this side."

"Huh," TK says. "How do I know where to go?"

"Well, we have a list of recommended sites," the girl says, pulling out one of the papers from the box and brandishing it at him. "We're betting that universe-hopping tourism is going to pick up in the next few years, but for now, we suggest starting with these. All of these universes are ones that have already discovered interuniversal travel, so they're good places to go if you just want to see what it's like!"

 _A place to start,_ TK thinks. "Cool," he says aloud. "I guess I'll get one, then."

She beams at him and scoops one of the boxes off the shelf. "A great purchase," she says, leading him to the counter. "I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun with it."

"Yeah," TK says, trailing her to the register. "Fun. Definitely."

-0-

It's hard to plan a universe hop, TK thinks, when he needs at least an afternoon to himself. He's a professional athlete, which takes up kind of a lot of time, and he's got a nosy-as-hell boyfriend, which takes up the rest of it.

 _Take the trip of a lifetime!_ the hopper box urges him. TK scowls at it, narrowly resisting the urge to ask it when, exactly, he's supposed to do that.

He considers asking Hartsy about it, but he's probably used up most of his goalie goodwill for the month; he thinks about going back to Kevin, but chances are good he'll be just as useless as he was last time. G is out, because G's a dad now, which means he's got all this weird dadly wisdom that will end up with him talking TK into returning the hopper and probably also adopting a puppy or something. Not that a puppy is a bad idea, but it's not going to solve alternate universe relationship issues.

"Um," Coots says, blinking at TK from just inside his door. "Did we… I was gonna ask if we had plans or something, but there's no way you'd ditch your other half for me."

"Definitely not," TK agrees. "Look, I have a question."

"Ask the trainers," Coots says immediately. "I don't know why people always think I know what their rash should be, but--"

"Okay, no," TK says. "Like I'd come over here to flash my junk at you. Let me in, man."

Coots narrows his eyes, but he sighs a moment later and shuts the door. There's the sound of the privacy chain clinking, and then the door swings back open. "This better be good."

TK shrugs and steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. "I need help."

"Obviously," Coots mutters. "With what?"

"So I bought a universe hopper," TK says. "And I can't figure out, like, a good time to do it."

Coots stares at him for a solid thirty seconds before he speaks. "You… what?"

TK waves a hand. "Just, like," he says, pulling his phone out. "I want to figure out the best time in the schedule to go for a hop. You seem like you have your shit together. I figured I'd ask if you could help me, like, find a time."

"You," Coots says again, but he doesn't say anything. TK looks up from his phone, and he can't decide if the look on Coots' face is him trying not to laugh or if TK maybe broke something important in his brain. "Teeks. What the fuck."

"That's not helpful," TK says, holding his phone out. "We have a few days off between playing the Rangers and the Sabres. D'you think that would be good, with the travel? I kind of think the travel might be a bitch."

"Teeks," Coots says, reaching out and taking TK's phone from him. "Why?"

TK frowns at him. "The girl at the store said that when I hit the home button, I'd go back to the receiver," he says. "I'm kinda worried that if it's, like, in my bag, I'll--"

"No, stop," Coots says, covering his face with a hand. "Just wait until the All-Star break like the rest of us, man."

"First of all, rude of you to assume I'm not going," TK says. "Second of all, no. I want to do it a bunch of times, so I need to figure out how to get it done during the season."

"I'm going to regret asking this," Coots says. "Why are you doing it a bunch of times? Why are you doing it at _all_?"

"Because I love Pats, obviously," TK says.

Coots stares some more. "Nope, not taking the bait," he says after a moment. He holds TK's phone out to him. "Take this. Leave. I don't know how to help you, bud."

TK sighs and grabs his phone. "Thanks for nothing."

"I'll try to get named to the All-Star Game so you have the time off," Coots yells after him as TK walks out.

TK flips the door off as he heads down the sidewalk.

-0-

"Bud," Jonas the barista says, pushing his coffee towards him. "You look rough."

TK sighs and takes the coffee. "You ever ask, like, everybody you know for advice, and none of them are helpful at all?"

"Yeah," Jonas says, making a face. "Except it turns out that they were right, and I absolutely should not have asked that girl out. I thought they were being negative, but in hindsight…"

TK shakes his head and grins. "Not good?"

"Well, it turns out that she's a lesbian, so the whole thing was a no-go," Jonas says. "And then she came in here for, like, three weeks in a row with her girlfriend."

"Ouch," TK says, wincing slightly. "That's rough."

"And she's my neighbour," Jonas adds. "But her girlfriend sometimes does chalk art for us now, so it wasn't all bad."

"Hey, a silver lining," TK says. "That's nice."

Jonas shrugs. "It works," he says. "So what are your friends all saying? Maybe I can help. Sometimes an outside perspective is a good thing, and also, it's three PM in the middle of a Thursday and I'm bored as hell."

TK laughs. "Nah, I guess it's not a big thing," he says. "I'm just trying to figure out when I can fit a universe hop into my schedule, and everyone I've asked has given me an answer I don't like." The fact that he's technically only asked Coots doesn't matter, TK figures.

Jonas frowns. "Wait, what do you mean, schedule?"

"Like," TK says, reaching for his phone to pull his calendar up again. "I've got stuff on my calendar like crazy, but I have a few days off in a row next week, except I'll be travelling, so--"

Jonas shakes his head. "Wait, no," he says. "Did you read the user's manual?"

"Jonas, buddy," TK says. "Do you think I read the user's manual?"

"Fair," Jonas says. "The quick start guide, though? Anything?"

"The back of the box," TK says. "I figured I should decide when I was hopping before I learned about all the specifics."

Jonas laughs. "Dude, that's not how it works," he says. "Always read the quick start guide first. Then you'd already know that hopping doesn't take time."

TK blinks. "What?"

"It's the way the hopping thing works," Jonas says, waving a hand. "You hop out, and you spend however long on the other side, and then you hop back here. There's a five-minute safety delay so you don't accidentally overlap with yourself, because nobody's really sure if that's safe, but you come back almost as soon as you leave."

"Wait, really?" TK says, leaning forward. "I only need five minutes?"

Jonas shrugs. "Some people get, like, the hopping equivalent of carsick," he says, "so they always say you should leave extra time until you know how you'll react to it. That's all the time it takes, though."

"Five fucking minutes," TK says, and he can hear how wondering his voice sounds. "I thought I'd need days."

Jonas grins. "Read the quick start guide, man. Always."

"They should put more pictures in it, then," TK says, taking a sip of his coffee and grinning when Jonas laughs.

-0-

"Are you," TK hears, and he looks up when Nolan pauses. Nolan's frowning at him. "Are you reading?"

"The shock in your voice is really doing wonders for me," TK says, raising his eyebrows. "You know I can read, right? This isn't a surprise to you?"

"I'm still deciding that," Nolan says, walking over and dropping down beside him. "What are you reading?"

"The quick start guide," TK says, looking back down. He's on _Part Four: Set Your Expectations_ now, and he thinks he might be getting the hang of it. He's at least promised himself that he's not gonna let terrible alternate universe versions of his friends affect his life here, and that seems like a start. "For my hopper."

Nolan sighs and leans against him. "I'm right here," he says, voice even mumblier than usual. "Why is alternate universe me more interesting than current universe me?"

TK frowns and drops the quick start guide to his lap. "He's not," he says, pushing his hand into Nolan's hair. "You're the most interesting you."

"Sure," Nolan replies. He's always got a pretty monotone voice, but when he's pissy about something, it goes absolutely dead flat. It's sort of fascinating, when it's not being aimed at TK.

"Babe," TK says, turning towards him. "I'm not, like. I'm not trying to hop to other universes and sleep with other yous or whatever."

Nolan makes a face. "Ew, god."

"I just, like," TK says. He can feel his frown cutting more deeply into his face. It's not that he doesn't know what to do with his emotions; his usual style is to have them loudly and publicly, and it works for him in most cases. He's less good at explaining the reasons behind those emotions, but this one's worth trying to figure out, he thinks. "Look, I love you."

"Good," Nolan says, but TK can hear him more clearly, so at least he's not going deeper into mumble territory. It's an interesting thing, trying to judge small differences in Nolan's moods sometimes, but TK is kind of an expert at it by now, if he does say so himself.

"So, like," TK says, shrugging the shoulder that Nolan isn't laying on. "Every me should have the chance to have you in their life, right? You make things better."

Nolan's quiet, still against him, and then he sighs. "I guess every me should have you, too," he says. "At least that way every me gets to decide if every you is equally annoying."

TK smiles; he's an expert at translating Nolan-ese into English, at least. "Better together," he says. It's a little awkward to reach out for a fistbump in this position, but he manages, and Nolan sighs deeply but taps his fist against TK's.

"Better together," Nolan says. "But can you read that thing tomorrow? I really want to watch something shitty on Netflix."

That's almost always code for _let's ignore Netflix and make out and maybe mess around_. TK is so good at this Nolan translation thing, seriously.

"Sure thing, bud," he says, setting the quick start guide to the side and reaching for the remote.

-0-

"I'm taking a shower," Nolan calls from the bedroom. They've been up from their post-practice nap for about half an hour, and they don't have anything to do until practice tomorrow, so their entire plan for the rest of the day is pretty much hang out and chill.

Except, well.

"Hey," TK says, poking his head into the bedroom. "So I think I'm gonna do it."

Nolan pulls his shirt off and tosses it into the corner before turning to look at TK. "Now?"

"Yeah," TK says, shrugging. "I mean, it'll only be five minutes for you, so I'll be back before you get out of the shower. I have a list of places to visit, and some of them are supposed to be pretty similar to here. I figure I'll pop into one, see what's going on, pop back home, and still have time to get UberEats before you finish rinsing your hair."

Nolan makes a face. "I don't take _that_ long."

"Five minutes," TK says again, putting the receiver on the bedstand. "Go shower. I'll be back before you even notice I'm gone."

"The quiet will clue me in," Nolan mutters, but he crosses the room in a few quick strides and leans in, kissing TK quickly. "Have fun, or whatever."

"Will do," TK says, smiling brightly at him. "Don't shower extra fast just so you can be done in less than five minutes and then bitch about me taking forever once I get back."

Nolan's cheeks go red, which means he was absolutely thinking about it. "Whatever."

TK snickers as Nolan walks into the bathroom, and then he looks down at his hopper. He's got his destination set, his receiver paired, his batteries charged. There's no time like the present, TK figures, so he takes a deep breath and pushes the button on the side of the hopper.

There's a soft beep, and then everything in front of him blurs before it whites out.

It's a little dizzying, but it doesn't make him feel sick to his stomach; the quick start guide had warned about that, but TK had kind of figured it was them just throwing some possible side effects out there. Everything makes someone nauseous, in his experience, but he's got a strong stomach, and anyway, the world stops blurring and resolves into the sidewalk outside the Philadelphia Zoo before he has a chance to think about it too hard.

"Cool," TK says, grinning slightly as he looks around. He's not super familiar with the zoo, but it looks pretty close to how he remembers it; he pulls his phone out of his pocket and sees that it's registering the right time and day, too, and that the little symbol telling him his roaming is on. He laughs and unlocks his phone; if he wasn't roaming now, he guesses, he'd probably never be.

Uber loads on his phone and everything looks like it's in American dollars, so he calls a car and stands in the rideshare zone, opening Safari so he can do a little investigating. This is the destination that the quick start guide had said was the most similar to his home universe, so he's not expecting a ton of differences at first glance; still, he lets out a little relieved breath when he googles the Flyers and sees that most of the guys are ones he knows. He's on the team, and so is Nolan, and G and Coots and Frosty and Ghost. Simmer's still here, which makes something clamp up in TK's chest, and Kevin isn't, but there's nothing too out there.

The thing is, now that TK is here, he's not absolutely sure what his first step should be. He doesn't think it would be too weird for the team if he showed up at practice, but the game schedule here is the same as his own, so they're probably done with that already. He doesn't want to approach Nolan out of nowhere, either, not without getting the lay of the land, and there's really only one way to get the info he needs.

TK sighs deeply as the Uber driver confirms his home address and hopes that this version of him isn't a "punch now, ask questions later" kind of guy.

The ride takes forever, which isn't that surprising; the building looks the same, which also isn't weird. His key works, which kind of throws him for a loop, and the guy behind the desk nods at him like he's used to TK coming and going, even though he's not someone TK recognises from his own universe. He nods back and calls the elevator, and he tries to wipe his sweaty palms discreetly on his pants as it climbs up to his floor.

"Okay," he mutters to himself, standing outside of a door he's opened more times than he really knows how to count. The paint in the hallway is a light gray instead of the kind of dingy beige he's used to, but otherwise it's the same. All he has to do it lift up his hand and knock, and--

The door opens, and TK has the single most surreal moment of his life as his own face stares back at him.

"What the absolute living fuck," Other TK says, and, well. That's definitely him.

TK lifts a hand. "Uh, hi," he says. "So, like. I bought a universe hopper?"

Other TK just stares at him. "You did what."

TK points at it. "From Sharper Image?"

"Oh my god, alternate universe me is an idiot," Other TK mutters, but he steps backwards into his apartment and motions for TK to come inside. "Sharper Image? Really?"

"What?" TK demands, following Other TK inside. "Like you don't think that store is cool?"

Other TK snorts. "The chairs that massage your back for you are pretty sick," he admits, leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms. "So what's so urgent that you needed to buy a fucking universe hopper to come tell me about?"

TK scowls. "Man, I hope if another TK visits me, I'm not this much of a dick to him."

Other TK rolls his eyes. "Look, as much as I'd love to stand around and, like, talk about what's the same and what's different, this is actually kind of a bad time, bud. I've got somewhere to be."

For the first time, TK notices that he looks _nice_. Not game day suit nice, but like he actually put thought into his outfit, did his hair, put on cologne that doesn't really smell familiar to TK. "Oh," he says. "Shit. I didn't even think of that."

Other TK sighs heavily. "Part of me wants to hope I don't seem like this to other people, but Patty points it out kind of often."

TK can feel his face brighten. "Yeah," he says, grinning. "He's good at that."

"Right?" Other TK says, getting the look on his face that makes Ghost groan and tell them to get a room. "Whatever. He's still the best."

"Man, I know," TK says. "Look, that's why I'm here, actually. He and I have been together for a while now, and I want to, like, make sure every version of us in every universe gets that chance."

"As if there's a version of us who aren't together," Other TK scoffs.

TK points at him. "That's what I said, but Hartsy was very convincing."

Other TK makes a face. "Man, I'm gonna steer clear of him for a while, then. I don't want him to say something that makes me feel like I have to buy a product from _Sharper Image_."

"Oh, fuck you," TK says, grinning. "Tell me to my face that you didn't circle stuff in that catalog when you were a kid. And remember that I can totally tell if you're lying, since you're _me_."

"I'm not eight anymore, though," Other TK says, rolling his eyes. "At least get one from a good company."

"They're pretty much the only ones selling them, where I'm from," TK says. "Wait, you have better ones? Where? I'll get one while I'm here."

Other TK snorts. "Look," he says, glancing at his watch. "I'm supposed to pick Patty up and take him out tonight, so I don't have time to, like, research them. Come back this time next week and I'll figure it out by then, okay?"

"Sweet," TK says, grinning and holding his fist out. "Get it, man."

"You bet," Other TK says, bumping his fist before pointing at the door. "Now leave, because I'm gonna be late already, and we both know how bitchy he can get."

TK laughs and waggles his eyebrows. "It'll be worth it," he says, and then he pushes the button on his hopper that will send him back home.

He knows what to expect this time, so when the white fades into the familiar setting of his bedroom, TK just laughs and sits on the bed, pulling up UberEats while he waits for Nolan to get out of the shower.

-0-

The second universe hop is pretty similar to the first; the only difference there is that Other TK had a black eye, which he grins and tells TK he got protecting Nolan's honour. He'd laughed when TK had asked what honour, exactly, and TK had decided that he liked this alternate universe version of himself better than the first one. The first one does get him a higher-quality hopper, though, and then helps him program it, so TK figures all is forgiven there.

His third hop starts out feeling pretty normal, but as soon as TK googles the Flyers, he frowns. There are a bunch of guys he knows, sure, but also a bunch he doesn't, and he almost drops his phone when he sees that the long-tenured captain of the Flyers is _Sidney Crosby_.

"Holy fuck," he mutters, quickly googling again, and he bites his lip hard and takes a screenshot of G in a Penguins jersey before shoving his phone into his pocket and heading for his apartment building.

He's not exactly good at introducing himself to himself, but he's at least got a little practice at doing it by now. Of course, when he knocks on his apartment door this time, it swings open to reveal Nolan, not Other TK, so that's… not ideal.

"Uh," TK says. "Hey, man."

Nolan blinks at him, takes a step backwards and looks into the kitchen, then looks back at TK. "Teeks," he says, and to most people his voice would sound calm, but that is a one hundred percent freaked out Nolan Patrick voice if TK has ever heard one.

"I tipped him through the app," TK hears himself say from inside the apartment. "Just get the food, Nols. Don't worry about it."

"Teeks," Nolan says again, and this time he sounds more panicked.

TK isn't sure what's going on, but he takes a step forward. "Hey, bud," he says, holding his hands up. "Pats, it's okay. Alternate universes, okay? I'm Teeks, I'm just not the Teeks in the apartment with you."

TK hears something moving inside the apartment, and a moment later, Other TK appears in the doorway. He blinks at TK, then looks at Nolan, whose face is very uncharacteristically un-rosy at the moment. "Hey," Other TK says, voice gentle. "Hey, Nols, go sit on the sofa, okay? You're not hallucinating. That sure is me, and I'm here, and it's not your head fucking up again."

"You see him?" Nolan says, voice barely above a whisper, and TK feels his stomach swoop and churn at how unsteady he sounds.

"I see him," Other TK says, reaching out and taking Nolan's hand. He glances at TK and shakes his head a little, like it's a signal TK will get, and then he leads Nolan farther into the apartment. "I see him, he's real, he's there."

"Okay," Nolan says. He doesn't look back at TK even once as he follows Other TK into the apartment.

The door stays open; TK takes a hesitant step inside, not sure what he's supposed to do here. He turns to close it behind him, but he catches sight of the delivery guy for the Chinese place that Nolan really likes at the end of the hallway, and the guy raises a hand in greeting when he catches sight of TK.

"We put in an extra quart of the soup he likes," the guy says, handing TK a giant bag of takeaway. "Tell him we all hope he gets better soon, and that Jason says he's gonna kick that Farabee kid's ass if he shows up in Philly again."

TK smiles weakly, stomach fully churning. "Will do, Frankie," he says. "Thanks."

Frankie nods at him and turns, walking down the hall as TK stands in the doorway, clutching the bag.

"Hey," he hears, and when he turns, Other TK is looking at him with a tired, pinched expression on his face. "C'mon, come in. Alternate universe, right? Sid has a hopper like that."

TK jerks out of it a little at the way his alternate self says Crosby's name so casually. "He's, uh," TK says. "Where I'm from, he's the captain of the Pens, and Giroux is my captain."

Other TK makes a truly offended face. "Oh, gross," he says. "Giroux is--"

"Whatever you're about to say, I'd say about Crosby," TK says quickly. "Maybe let's not get into that one."

"Fair," Other TK concedes, reaching for the takeaway bag. He peeks inside, and his face softens slightly. "Aw. Extra soup."

"Frankie says that they all wish Nolan well, and that Jason's gonna kick that Farabee kid's ass," TK says, swallowing and thinking about Bees in his own locker room, the way he jokes around with the guys, the way he and Nolan had laughed so hard at some dumb YouTube video that they'd both been crying during training camp.

Other TK's face goes dark. "Not if I fucking do it first," he mutters.

"What happened?" TK asks. He glances towards the living room, where he can see Nolan huddled on the sofa, blanket pulled tightly around his shoulders.

"Concussion," Other TK says, voice clipped and unhappy. "Again. It wasn't a super bad hit, but it also wasn't a necessary one. Farabee got fined, but Nols is out indefinitely, and it's…"

"Bad," TK supplies. "If he thought he was hallucinating, then it's bad."

"It's bad," Other TK confirms. "Like, they're saying…"

His voice drifts off as his gaze finds Nolan on the sofa, and TK feels sick in a way he really never has before as the pieces click together in his head. Another concussion, a bad one. They're saying that he might not be able to play again, or that he maybe shouldn't.

TK swallows hard. "Oh."

"Yeah," Other TK says, looking back at him. "Oh."

"I'm sorry," TK says. It's so fucking inadequate, but he's really got nothing else here.

Other TK shrugs, his eyes never leaving Nolan. "We're making the best of it," he says. "Or, like. I'm trying to keep his spirits up, and he's trying to let his brain heal. It's a process."

"It sounds like it," TK says weakly. "And I just showed up here and set him back, like, a month."

Other TK laughs. "Maybe two of me will help, who the fuck knows," he says, starting to pull things out of the bag. "It feels like nothing else has. It's only been a week, but it has been a _shitty_ week."

TK swallows and looks over at Nolan again. "So, uh, I'm guessing this is… a bad time."

It makes Other TK snort. "Depends why you're here. A threesome is kinda off the table right now, if that's what you were after."

"A," TK splutters. "What? No!"

Other TK's face splits into a grin. "Dude, your face," he says, snickering. "We tease Croz about it all the time. Although if he shows up in places where he's a _Penguin_ , I think he'd probably puke everywhere and come back and never talk to anyone ever again, so maybe that really isn't what he does with it."

"Ew," TK says, making a face. He feels like it's probably not strong enough a face for how grossed out he feels at the mention of Crosby having a sex life. "Wait, did G and Ryanne have a kid here? Like, a few months ago?"

Other TK frowns at him. "Who's Ryanne?"

"Oh my god," TK says, eyes widening as he grabs for his phone again. "If G and Ryanne aren't together--"

The first photo on G's Insta is Gavin smiling toothlessly up at the camera. He's wearing a baby-sized Penguins jersey, which seems like terrible parenting to TK, but otherwise he looks exactly the same as TK remembers.

"Oh, hell, that kid is cute," Other TK says, and when TK looks up, he's frowning at the phone. "Why does Giroux's kid have to be cute? Gross."

TK narrows his eyes. "Don't go there, Konecny. I'm guessing you and I are enough alike that I could spill some pretty embarrassing shit to some teammates before I pop out again."

Other TK raises an eyebrow. "Wanna bet?"

"The summer before the draft," TK says, "you took Law out on the boat--"

"Jesus Christ, okay, okay," Other TK hisses, glancing towards the living room. "Seriously? That's the first one you went for?"

TK spreads his hands and grins. "You know me, bud. Since when has fighting fair been a huge priority of mine?"

Other TK rolls his eyes as he finishes pulling everything out of the bag. "Whatever," he mutters. "Why are you here, then, if it's not to embarrass me or to hook up?"

TK looks back at Nolan on the sofa, and this time, Nolan's looking back at him. Specifically at him, TK notes, because he's making direct eye contact and taking what TK knows are even, measured breaths. "Uh," he says, swallowing. "I think… it's fine, I think. You've got enough going on here."

Other TK snorts. "Maybe I don't know you as well as you think I do," he says. "Since when have I ever given up on something?"

TK shakes his head and turns back to Other TK. "Since I realised that there are things more important than whatever's in my head," he says, pitching his voice even quieter. There's almost no chance Nolan can hear them, not with the blanket he's got pulled around himself blocking out their already quiet voices, but TK isn't taking any chances. "It's not giving up when it's something that someone else needs."

Other TK's eyes go wide. "You, uh," he says, looking from TK to Nolan and back again. "What?"

"I love him," TK says, direct and clear, tilting his head towards Nolan. "Like, my version of him. It's kind of my whole thing, other than hockey."

"Your whole..." Other TK echoes. He's got the packet of egg rolls in his hand, and he's gripping it tightly enough that TK bets they're a fork food now. "You. What?"

"Man, if I'd been recording this," TK says, shifting his weight. "All I hear, constantly, is that I never shut up. Apparently it's possible."

Other TK gently sets the egg roll packet down and takes a deep, even breath. "That's not," he says, eyes flicking to Nolan and back again. "I'm just… I didn't think it was worth taking a shot."

"It was for me," TK says, shrugging. "Like, totally worth it. But my Patty isn't…"

Other TK lets out his breath and nods, looking down at the food spread across the counter. "He's okay. His brain isn't all fucked up because of some fucking rookie trying to prove himself."

"Farabee is on the Flyers," TK says quietly. "Where I'm from."

Other TK's head jerks up at that, and TK is glad he put the egg rolls down already, because they'd be permanently part of the bag now if he hadn't. "Fucking _what_?"

"Teeks," Nolan says, voice hoarse, and they both whirl to face him. He's got a ghost of a smile on his face now, but he's not looking at TK this time. "Chill, bud."

Other TK waves a hand at TK. "In his universe, Crosby is the captain of the Pens, and we're stuck with _Giroux_ ," he says, not missing a beat. It's not a lie, and it's not telling Nolan anything that's gonna hurt him. TK approves of the instincts he's seeing here.

Nolan pulls a truly epic face; he usually doesn't show that kind of emotion, but TK is betting that his Nolan is going to do something similar when he hears the news. It's also possible, TK thinks, that Nolan's faking it a little bit for Other TK's sake, because his face crinkles towards what might be a smile when Other TK starts laughing, and TK knows damn well how self-sacrificing Nolan can be when he thinks he can make a difference.

"So, uh," TK says, taking a step back. "Looks like you guys have a fun night of Chinese food planned, and I also know that there's not enough there for me to join you, so I'm just gonna…"

He jerks his thumb at the door and takes another step back.

Nolan stands, keeping the blanket wrapped around him. His shoulders are hunched up around his ears beneath it. "Sorry I'm not, like, more fun to hang around."

"Did you ask to get your brain whacked around?" TK asks. He's positive he's had almost this exact conversation with his Nolan.

Nolan blinks at him. "I mean, obviously not--"

"And do you apologise to him about it?" TK asks, nodding at Other TK.

"No, but--"

"Shut your face and eat Chinese food," TK says firmly. "And, like, keep avoiding screens and shit. Be nice to your brain."

"I'm trying," Nolan mutters. He sounds kind of pissy, but his shoulders have come back down. "Whatever. Go away."

"That's the spirit," TK says. He gives Nolan and Other TK a thumbs-up, and then he turns and walks out the door, already jamming the button on his hopper that will return him home.

"Hey, how was," Nolan starts. He's sitting in their bed, pajama pants rolled up around his knees for some godforsaken reason, and TK climbs onto the bed and into his lap as he's talking. Nolan shuts up, eyebrows shooting into his hairline as TK pushes his hands into Nolan's hair and holds on, resting their foreheads together.

"Hi," TK says, closing his eyes.

"That good, huh," Nolan says, but his hands go to TK's hips, holding him steady as TK more or less collapses against him.

"I don't want to talk about it," TK says, which is and isn't the truth all at the same time.

Nolan nods, the barest motion of his head. "Okay, cool."

"Except," TK says, pulling back, "Crosby's the captain of the Flyers there."

"You didn't tell me you were going to hell," Nolan says immediately, and TK laughs, longer and harder than the joke deserves, but when he finally pulls his shit together and looks at Nolan, Nolan's got a crooked little grin on his face.

-0-

He doesn't hop again for a few weeks. It's not that he doesn't want to, but… well, okay. Maybe it's because he doesn't want to.

-0-

"So how are your forays into the multiverse going?" Jake asks, sitting next to TK at team lunch.

TK shrugs a shoulder. "They're not."

"Huh," Jake says, reaching over and stealing a fry off of TK's plate even though he's got a full plate in front of him. TK just glares; he's long since learned that it's better to just let Jake do his thing most of the time.

"What's 'huh' for?" TK asks.

Jake shrugs. "You were all excited about it," he says. "And now you look like someone kicked a puppy."

TK winces. "Not… exactly."

Jake shovels some food into his mouth and hums. TK waits him out, because he's not volunteering anything before he knows what Jake's up to here. The last time he did that, he opened his hotel room door after a game and found every single item inside wrapped in Gritty wrapping paper, and he's honestly not looking to repeat that experience.

"Patty," Jake says after he swallows, which, small mercies or whatever. "Something happened to Patty, and you saw it, and now you're spooked."

TK opens his mouth, then closes it again. "Maybe," he says after a moment, picking up a fry and shoving it into his mouth. He can chew thoroughly and swallow carefully if it means avoiding some of this conversation.

Jake nods slowly. "It happens," he says reasonably. "Even here, it happens."

"He's probably not going to play again," TK says, which is not information he was going to volunteer, but here he is. He hunches his shoulders and looks down. "That Nolan, I mean. He got another concussion."

He doesn't let himself look around for Bees. He made a promise to himself that he wasn't going to let other universes affect how he lived in his own, and he's gonna stick to it.

Jake hums again. "That sucks," he says, voice calm. "It was going to happen somewhere, though. That's the multiverse."

TK looks up and squints at him. "Wait, since when are you an expert in the multiverse?"

"I read," Jake says blandly.

"You read," TK echoes. "About physics and stuff?"

Jake just grins at him. "So are you done hopping around?"

TK rubs at his wrist. He doesn't wear the hopper if he's not planning on using it, but he knows exactly where it touches, how it clasps around his arm. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Okay," Jake says. "Teeks?"

"Yeah?" TK asks, reaching for another fry. They're cold and kind of soggy, but he's trying to make a point here. He thinks.

"For every universe where something's bad, there's one where something's good," Jake says, and then he stands up and grabs his plate and walks away.

Well, TK thinks, looking after him. That sure sounds like the multiverse.

-0-

They're in Edmonton tonight, Calgary tomorrow, and Vancouver a few days after that, and TK fucking _hates_ the Western Canada road trip. It's cold and it's long and it feels impossible, even though none of the teams are very good. He doesn't ever like counting games as lost before he plays them, but he knows that if they go home with four of the six points, he'll be pretty fucking stoked.

"Hey," Nolan says. He's in the bathroom, and TK heard him start the shower a few minutes before. "I'm gonna rinse off."

"Okay," TK says, looking up from his phone. "I think…"

"Oh no," Nolan says when TK trails off. "Stop thinking, man. You're the worst at it."

TK flips him off and goes to rummage through his bag, pulling out his hopper and the receiver. "I'm gonna hop."

Nolan's face doesn't move at all. "You sure?"

"Yeah," TK says, shrugging. "Can't be as bad as last time."

"Oh, wow, I didn't know you were into tempting fate," Nolan says. "Enjoy being married to Crosby this time or whatever."

"Oh my god," TK says, and he can hear the horror in his own voice as Nolan cracks up, leaning against the door of the bathroom for support. His cheeks are even redder than normal, and TK considers staying, putting his things back in his bag and maybe joining Nolan in the shower, but he's got Jake's voice in the back of his head. _For every universe where something's bad, there's one where something's good._ He feels like he needs to confirm that, like the next place he hops will even out the last one.

"Okay, well," Nolan says, finally pushing himself up. He's still grinning, which means TK still wins, or something. "You'll be back before I get out. Good luck."

"Thanks," TK says. Part of him wants to make a smartass comment, but more of him wants to take the luck and run with it so he doesn't _actually_ end up married to Crosby. He'd much rather be a goddamn horse.

It doesn't take him long to set up; the hopper tech is almost disturbingly easy to use, now that he's got it all programmed. Just because he hasn't used it in a couple of weeks doesn't mean he's forgotten how to put the receiver on the bedstand or open up the quick start guide and dial one of the suggested destinations into his bracelet. He doesn't let himself hesitate, because hesitation never leads to anything good, so he presses the button and blinks through the hopping process.

"Okay," TK says as he materialises in a park. He looks around to get his bearings and spots Independence Hall, so at least he knows where he is and how to get where he wants to be. He pulls his phone out and starts walking north; his Philly has a little park with benches not far from here, which sounds like a good place to do his googling before he starts.

He's settling onto a bench when he feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up, like someone's watching him. He glances around, and he blinks when he makes eye contact with a kid on the bench to his left. Or, well, he's not a kid, TK thinks; he's fifteen, maybe sixteen, which makes him younger than TK by a handful of years that feel like decades at this point. "Hey," he says when the eye contact doesn't stop.

"You're Travis Konecny," the kid--guy--whatever blurts. "From the Flyers."

TK grins easily; that's one question answered, at least. "Yeah," he says. "How's it going, bud?"

"I'm Adam," is the response, and Adam's voice is--shaking, TK thinks, and not in a way like he's just excited to run into someone famous in public. "And I just… uh. I…"

"Hey, Adam," TK says, trying for a gentle, calming tone. "What's up, bud? Are you okay?"

Adam hiccups and wipes at his face, which is right about when TK realises that he's crying. He's also nodding, though, chin bobbing vigorously up and down. "I just," he says again, and now he's smiling. "I wanted to say thanks?"

"Uh," TK says. "You're… welcome?"

"I just," Adam says, wiping at his face again. "You Can Play always seemed kind of like performative bullshit, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know," TK says fervently. Just because he's the rep and also a gay dude doesn't mean that most of the whole movement isn't a poorly managed publicity stunt.

"But then you and Nolan," Adam says, and he smiles, tapping at something on his jacket. It's a badge, TK sees when he squints at it, Gritty holding a Pride flag with something scribbled across it that looks suspiciously like numbers. An eleven, TK sees, and his brain gets there before the rest of him for once.

"Yeah," TK says, trying to keep his smile in place as his brain shouts _you came out, you and Nolan, this is a universe where you came out._ "Me and Nolan."

"And just," Adam says yet again. "Like, man. _Thank_ you. I know it's been, like, up and down, and I bet it's been really fucking shitty sometimes, but it really… it means so much." He laughs, and it's kind of watery, but he's still smiling widely. "My dad actually… it was the first time I was actually able to come out to him, right? Because you guys did it, and he didn't flip out like I was afraid he might, and then I came out and it was all okay."

"That's so great," TK says, and the smile isn't forced at all this time. "Bud, I'm happy for you. Congratulations."

"Thank you," Adam says, wiping at his face again. "Can I, uh. Can I get a picture, if that's okay?"

"Sure, yeah," TK says, standing and pocketing his phone so he can walk over and sit beside Adam on the bench. "Serious picture or really dumb faces picture?"

It makes Adam laugh a little more brightly. "How do I pick?"

"Both," TK decides, leaning in as Adam fumbles for his phone. "Serious one first, then we stick our tongues out or make a duck face or give bunny ears or whatever."

He ends up taking a handful of photos, because Adam brightens more and more with each dumb one they take, and when TK suggests they take another serious one near the end and slings an arm over Adam's shoulders, Adam beams so brilliantly that TK figures it was a totally worthwhile way to spend half an hour.

"Thanks again," Adam says, smiling so hard his face has to be hurting as he stands to leave. "For…. for everything. And tell Nolan I said thanks, too."

"I will," TK promises, waving at Adam as he walks away.

As soon as Adam is out of sight, TK sits down, pulls his phone out, and starts furiously googling.

-0-

"We came out," Nolan echoes, eyes wide. "Like. Out, not just to the team, but _out_ -out."

"We did," TK confirms. "Like, super out. All the way out. There's no closet left in that universe, man. We knocked it the fuck down."

"Wow," Nolan says. His face is doing a kind of journey thing, and normally TK would be trying to catalogue all of that, but right now he's too busy pulling up all the screenshots he took of the articles, the photos of him and Nolan kissing on the ice next to the President's Cup, G in the background looking like the camera caught him at the exact moment when he switched from being the proudest dad in the world to a vicious murder bot who's about to go kick someone's ass for saying something that TK would bet his whole contract was homophobic.

"Look," TK says instead of trying to explain the looks on anyone's faces, because even he only has so many words, and he's got nothing going here.

Nolan takes his phone and swipes through quickly, then goes back to the start and reads the articles. The face journey is easier to follow this time, and it's partially because it's slower but partially because it looks a lot like TK felt on that bench in alternate Philadelphia: disbelief, consideration, awe, and something that had felt a lot like curiosity and longing mingled together. Nolan squashes that one down faster than TK had, and he looks back up at TK. "Huh."

"Yeah," TK agrees. "So, like, obviously I didn't talk to either of us there."

Nolan's face contorts. "What? Why?"

TK gestures at nothing. "I'm doing this to get us together, remember?" he says. "Clearly that version of us doesn't need that kind of help."

Nolan laughs incredulously. "And you didn't want to, like, ask?"

 _Ask what,_ is on the tip of TK's tongue, but there are so, so many answers to that question, and he's not bad at filling in the blanks. He shakes his head instead, trying to piece it together in a way that makes sense, the churning in his gut as he'd considered it, the need to know warring against the terror of being stuck with that knowledge forever. "I didn't," he says lamely after probably too long.

"Huh," Nolan says again, looking back to TK's phone. He taps at the screen a bunch, and his own phone starts buzzing on the bedstand. When TK takes his phone back, he's not surprised to see that Nolan had sent all of the screenshots to himself.

"So, yeah," TK says. "That's… I mean. Not what I was expecting, honestly."

Nolan rolls his eyes. "I mean," he says. "At least you weren't married to Crosby."

"Stop _saying that_ ," TK hisses, and Nolan grins and doesn't stop when TK tackles him into the bed.

-0-

The thing about going off the list in the quick start guide, TK finds, is that all of the universes on it are pretty close to his own, in the grand scheme of things.

"You went to a dozen universes and only found one where we weren't together, and even there, your other self had thought about it," Nolan says. "Maybe Hartsy was wrong. Maybe we're just always together, or at least on our way there."

TK frowns. "Or maybe I'm just not hopping out far enough. If i'm just going, like, right next door in the multiverse, it makes sense that it's not that different. I need to hop farther out, see if I can find some actual differences."

Nolan rolls his eyes. "If you really want to find--"

"If you say the Crosby thing again I will end you," TK threatens, and Nolan's face twitches like he's barely holding a smirk inside. He shrugs, and TK sighs. "I just, like. I'm glad that you and I keep finding each other, but I feel like that's really not always the case, right? So much has been different in some of those universes. The concussion one, or the one where we were out."

Nolan makes a face. "The one where I had that migraine disorder and couldn't play for an entire season," he says.

TK winces and nods. He'd come home with his hands shaking, and he'd yanked Nolan down on top of him and run his fingers through Nolan's hair again and again until he'd felt better. It… hadn't been quick.

"Okay," Nolan says. "So when you find a universe where we aren't together, what's your play?"

TK rolls his shoulders, shrugs. "Dunno, man. I have no idea why you think I'm not totally fucking winging this."

"Of course you are," Nolan mutters. "When you come back with a black eye, you're not allowed to tell the rest of the guys that you got it wrestling with me."

"What if I get it wrestling with alternate universe you?" TK asks.

"Then you probably deserved it, and I will cosmically high five my alternate self or whatever," Nolan says. "And you can totally tell the guys that two versions of me are better wrestlers than you if you want, but you cannot throw me under the bus."

TK scowls. "You're the worst boyfriend."

"Yup, you caught me," Nolan says flatly. "I'm such a shitty boyfriend that you're literally hopping universes to make sure no version of you has to live without me."

"Nope," TK says immediately "Clearly every you needs a me around, and I couldn't handle the thought of your sad fucking face in a place where you didn't have me around to make you smile--"

"As if," Nolan mutters.

TK reaches out and pokes Nolan in the chin. "You fucking love my sparkling personality and hilarious sense of humour."

"No," Nolan says, corners of his mouth twitching.

"You do," TK insists. "You think you can lie to me, but you totally fucking can't. I can read you like a book, man."

"I'm not a quick start guide," Nolan says. "Are you sure--"

"I'm gonna go find a universe where _you're_ married to Crosby," TK says, holding out the arm with the hopper on it and jabbing at the coordinates button. Nolan cracks, grinning as he lunges for TK, grabbing his hand and trying to keep him from hitting any more buttons.

"If you get a black eye right now," Nolan says, struggling to hold TK back, "you still can't blame me."

"It would totally be your fault!" TK exclaims.

Nolan snorts, managing to shove TK's hand back against his chest, then planting himself heavily across TK's thighs, effectively pinning him in place. "Like any of the guys would blame me," he mutters. "Fucking _Crosby_."

TK snickers and wriggles a little, managing to turn his hand around so he's sort of pawing at Nolan's chest through his shirt. "You're welcome to distract me," he suggests, and Nolan snorts again, but he leans in when TK tips his head back anyway.

-0-

"Hey," Nolan says, and when TK turns to face him, he's already in the middle of throwing something at him.

"Whoa, what the fuck," TK says, catching it because he is a professional athlete with a fuckton of hand-eye coordination, thanks. He blinks down at-- "Why did you throw an M&Ms book at me?"

"You keep saying you can read," Nolan says. "Try it."

TK flips him off and opens the notebook and there, in Nolan's carefully neat I-swear-I'm-an-adult handwriting that he only breaks out for the really important shit, is a set of hop coordinates. It's the only thing on the page.

"Uh," TK says, blinking at it a few times. He flips the page to find another set of coordinates, and then another and another. "Patty?"

When he looks up, Nolan's cheeks are fully red. "I looked around," he says, glancing away. "You know. Online and shit. These are all supposed to be safe places, but not too like here."

TK looks back down and stares at the neat set of numbers on the page. "Oh," he says. "You, uh. Wow."

"Whatever," Nolan mumbles. "Now you can use your hopper again without, like, randomly jumping and hoping you don't land somewhere where the floor is literally lava."

"Yeah, not the best," TK agrees. "Why the whole journal thing?"

"You can, like, write shit down," Nolan says. "You know, like people do with journals. The journal thing."

"It has M&Ms on it," TK says, closing the notebook. The blue M&M is winking at him. It's a little disturbing.

"They were out of Gritty ones at the dollar store," Nolan says, shrugging.

TK laughs, a little incredulous, a lot charmed. "You looked up coordinates for me and bought me a journal so I could keep track of things."

Nolan shrugs again and his eyes flick away from TK's face. "Maybe."

"Because you love me," TK croons, clutching the notebook to his chest.

"Because if you come back with lava burns on your feet, you won't be able to walk and you'll make me bring you shit for weeks," Nolan gripes, but half of his mouth is rising into a smile, like he just can't keep it all the way in anymore.

TK just grins at him. "Sure, bud."

"There's, like, fifty different universes in there," Nolan says, gesturing at the journal. "All safe. I even double-checked them so I know some asshole on Reddit wasn't lying."

"Two assholes on Reddit could've been lying," TK points out. "Or it could be one asshole with different accounts."

Nolan rolls his eyes. "Right, sure," he says. "Those are definitely all universes where the air is poison and people are putting the coordinates up for fun."

"Sometimes people are ashsoles," TK says. "Like, you've _met_ Wilson."

Nolan's eyebrows go up. "Which one?"

"The asshole one," TK replies, flinging a hand out. "Like you didn't already know that."

"I mean, that dude on the Avs seems fine, but you do you," Nolan says, and his eyebrows are doing something weird, like he's somehow using them to control the rest of his facial expression. It almost counts as a smile, probably.

"Wow, you could change your name to Wilson, and then I could be talking about you," TK says, and Nolan snorts and his whole face twitches, and yeah, treasured moment achieved, TK thinks to himself as Nolan turns too slowly to fully hide his grin.

-0-

The first thing TK does when he arrives in Nolan's first universe is pull his phone out, like he normally does.

The second thing he does is blink at it, because this is the first time he can ever remember seeing _no service_ when he wasn't on an airplane.

"Well," he mutters, glancing around. It sure looks like Philly, which is good; there are other people with cell phones, which is also good. It's just his phone, then, which means that he probably managed to find a place where Rogers doesn't have an agreement with Verizon, and his phone won't work while he's here.

He sighs and pockets it, glancing around. He's in Center City, he's pretty sure, which means he can definitely find a place that has wifi and then figure his shit out from there.

Starbucks wifi comes through for him, which is nice. It doesn't take long to google himself and Nolan; they're both on the Flyers, and there's no news about the two of them coming out or anything like that. Flyers Twitter tells him that in this universe he lives with Kevin and Nolan lives with Sanny, which seems like a weird choice, but he's seen weirder and he's sure it's not gonna get less weird the longer he keeps at it. The interior shots of Kevin's house look the same, at least, so TK calls a taxi and gives the address.

Twenty minutes later, he's climbing out of the taxi and heading for the front door. It opens as he's reaching for the handle, and Kevin blinks at him for a full minute.

"Uh," he says. "What the fuck, dude."

TK rolls his eyes. "Nice to see you too, bud."

"Did you buy a fucking _wig_?" Kevin demands, reaching out and stopping just short of tugging at TK's hair.

"Did I," he says. "Uh, no? Listen, let me in."

Kevin steps back, and TK slips past him. He forgot to google whether or not this universe knows about alternate universes, and he's not willing to risk being the one to break the news.

TK doesn't really know much about the inside of Kevin's house; he's been there a handful of times, sure, but it's not like they all give each other grand tours of their houses. The couch seems to be the same, and the kitchen's in the same place. There's a hallway to the left, which is where the hallway should be, so TK heads down it, figuring he can just open up doors until he finds whatever room he's using.

The first door he flings open puts him face-to-face with himself.

"Oh, hey, that didn't take long," TK says, grinning. "Hey, man."

"What the fuck," Other TK says, scrambling back on his bed. The first thing TK notices is that his eyes are super wide, and the second thing is--

"Oh, man, that's what Hayesy was talking about," he says, taking a step into the room. "Dude. You keep your hair short?"

"Last time I got knocked down, a Star skated too close and cut a big chunk off with his skate," Other TK says, clutching his blanket to his chest. "I had to cut it all off. Why are you me?"

TK spreads his hands. "What do you know about alternate universes?"

"Science fiction isn't my thing, man," Other TK says, and well, that answers that question.

TK sighs and wishes that he believed in, like, having a solid plan for things and didn't insist on winging everything in his life. "So, as it turns out," he says, scratching his head. "I'm you, but from a different universe."

Other TK narrows his eyes. "You're shitting me."

TK spreads his hands in front of himself. "You have another way to explain me standing here?"

Other TK barks out a laugh. "I got a concussion when I got my hair cut?"

"You didn't," TK says. He can't tell what his face is doing, but it must match some of the heaviness in his chest, thinking about the Nolan with the concussion and the hallucinations. "I'm here. Hayesy can confirm that he saw you with the long hair if you ask him later."

"Right," Other TK mutters. "Okay, let's say I believe you're real. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you about a teammate," TK says. "Patty, actually."

TK isn't sure what he's expecting, but it's not for Other TK to scowl at him. "What about him?"

"Nothing bad," TK says hastily.

The scowl deepens. "Well, that's a shock."

TK opens his mouth, closes it again, blinks. "Uh," he says. "What?"

"Nolan Patrick is the single most infuriating teammate I've ever had," Other TK says. "Won't say a fucking word to me outside of the rink, won't do anything that's not mandatory, constantly shoves his headphones on and refuses to engage with anyone. I have no idea how Sanny puts up with him."

TK blinks. "Wait," he says slowly. "You... you actually don't like him?"

"Wow, what gave it away?" Other TK asks, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"No, it's just," TK says, shaking his head and taking a step closer. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, turning it so Other TK can see his phone background. It's him and Nolan, their faces smushed together, both of them grinning at the camera. It's the best photo of Nolan on the planet, TK is sure of it. This planet or any other.

"He smiles?" Other TK asks, eyes going wide as he takes in the photo. "What the fuck? Is he high?"

TK rolls his eyes. "No, asshole," he says, turning the phone off and shoving it back into his pocket. "We went to the zoo. He loves the elephants, and after we saw them, he took a selfie and let me make it my phone background."

"Why?" Other TK asks. "Like, to a lot of that story. Why would you go to the zoo with him? Why would he let you make that your background? Why would you _want_ to--"

"It was a date," TK cuts in, and Other TK's mouth shuts with an audible click.

"It was a..." he says slowly, and then he drops the covers, puts his head in his hands, and starts laughing hysterically.

"Uh," TK says when it doesn't stop. "Bud?"

"A date," Other TK says, voice wavering with how hard he's laughing. "You. And Nolan Patrick. You went on a date, and he was _happy_ about it?"

"We've been together for almost three years now," TK says, "so yeah, he was pretty happy about it."

Other TK shuts up at that. "Three fucking years," he says. "Fuck. Why? How?"

TK shrugs. "I thought he was cute, so I asked him out?"

"He has no fucking personality," Other TK says, narrowing his eyes at TK. "None. He's pretty as hell, but that's it. He has no friends, and there are only a few people who even fucking try to talk to him anymore. If he wasn't so fucking good at hockey, there's no way he'd still be here."

The first thought to pop into TK's head is a staunch defense; the second, right on its heels, wonders what the fuck _happened_ to this Nolan. It's not like TK is going back to a super open and extra-communicative boyfriend, but Other TK sounds like he's describing a totally different person. "He's," TK starts, then shakes his head. "I guess he's different, my Nolan."

"Your _Nolan_ ," Other TK says, and it sounds like he can't decide if he wants to sound mocking or awed. "I think if I called him by his first name, he'd murder me in my sleep."

TK shakes his head. "What the hell," he says more to himself than anything else.

"Yeah, great question," Other TK says. "What were you here to say about him, anyway?"

TK clears his throat and goes for a casual shrug. "That you should give him a chance," he says, "Which sounds like it might not work in this specific universe."

Other TK snorts hard enough that it sounds painful. "You think?"

"Look," TK says, narrowing his eyes. "I'm pretty fucking happy, dude. It's working for the two of us in my universe, and in a bunch of other universes I've been to, too. I figured I'd try to spread the joy a little, y'know?"

"There's no joy here," Other TK says flatly. "He's an asshole. He's a terrible teammate. There's nothing _there_ , man."

TK shakes his head again, sighing as he pulls his phone out. "What's the wifi password?" he asks.

"What, it's not the same in your universe?" Other TK asks.

"Well, no, in my universe I live with Nolan, and we don't really hang out at Hayesy's much," TK says.

"You live with him," Other TK says, and now he sounds a little disbelieving. "Shit, man. I got a whole different dude."

"It sounds like it," TK says. "Look, get me on the wifi so I can call an Uber. My roaming doesn't work here."

"Oh, shit, yeah," Other TK says. "Verizon and Rogers are having this huge dispute over fees or some shit. I had to get a different phone to use this season."

"Well, that's annoying," TK says, holding his phone out so Other TK can punch in the password.

"Yeah, it's pretty much the worst," Other TK says, handing the phone back. "Whatever, though. Where are you going? Do you have to, like, be in a certain place to make your usiverse-jumping thing work?"

"Hopper," TK says, sticking his wrist out. "And no, it works from anywhere, and it'll dump me back to the place I left from. I hope your universe is close to the tech, man, because it's kind of really fucking cool."

Other TK shakes his head. "I feel like I should call a scientist or something and make sure they're on that shit."

TK raises both eyebrows. "You know a lot of scientists?"

"Sure as fuck don't, but I have Google," Other TK says, grabbing his own phone from the bedstand and unlocking it. "Damn. Now I want to meet a Nolan Patrick who knows what an emotion is."

TK snorts. "Don't get ahead of yourself there, bud."

He pulls up the Uber app and puts Sanny's address in; Other TK doesn't ask him where he's going again, so he keeps it to himself, and they shoot the shit about mostly nothing at all until the car arrives outside.

"Well, this has been weird," Other TK says. "Go beat the Pens. That's a universal constant, right?"

"Fuck yes," TK says immediately. " _Fuck_ the Pens."

"You said it, bro," Other TK says, and TK is still grinning when he gets into the Uber.

-0-

"Teeks," Sanny says, smiling at him as he opens the door. "How's it going? What's up?"

"It's good, man, it's good," TK says, smiling back. He'd had the Uber stop a few blocks away so he could buy a Flyers hat, and it's too new, foreign on his head without being broken in, but he was able to tuck most of his hair up into it. "Is Patty here?"

Sanny blinks at him, then glances over his shoulder. "Uh," he says, "yeah?"

"Cool, yeah," TK says, rocking back on his heels a little. "Can I, like… come in and talk to him?"

Sanny's laugh is a little incredulous. "I have no idea," he says, but he steps back and gestures for TK to walk inside, so he does.

He has no idea what he's doing here, if he's being super honest with himself. Other TK had been pretty clear about this version of Nolan, but TK has never known when not to stick his nose into something, and he's never not going to want to solve a Nolan-related puzzle. He's kind of crossing his fingers and hoping, mostly, but he's had worse ideas in his life. Probably. Maybe.

"Second door on the left," Sanny says, gesturing down a hallway after TK toes his shoes off by the door. "Try not to piss him off too much."

"Gotta be me," TK says, because it's what he'd say to his Sanny, heading in to face his Nolan.

This Sanny just shakes his head, though, turning to go into the living room, and TK takes a deep breath as he heads down the hall.

"Hey," he calls out, knocking on Nolan's door. "Hey, Patty, it's… uh. It's TK. Can I come in?"

There's no sound from inside the room at all.

"Patty," TK calls again, knocking a little louder. "Hey, man, can we--"

The door pulls open just enough for Nolan to look out at him. There's no expression on his face at all, and he's wearing an old Winnipeg Thrashers shirt that doesn't really fit anymore and plain sweats, looking like he maybe hasn't left his room in a few days.

"What the fuck do you want," Nolan mumbles, looking at a point over TK's shoulder.

"To talk to you, man," TK says. He can't help staring, noticing the way Nolan's face looks a little gray, how tightly his fingers are holding the door, white from the pressure of it.

"Why," Nolan says, and all of these things should have question marks, should be him asking for information, but there's no tone in his words at all, no inflection. It's flat. Lifeless, TK thinks, and something twists in his stomach.

"Because you're Nolan Patrick, and I'm Travis Konecny," TK says, mouth spitting out words that only maybe make sense. "Come on, man. Just for a little while?"

Nolan looks very much like he's going to say no, which, fair. That was a shitty attempt at an argument. "I'll order us sushi for dinner," TK throws in, hoping that this isn't a Nolan who for some fucking reason hates sushi. Some things are too weird to contemplate, honestly.

Nolan sighs, deep and guttural, and steps back. "Fine," he says, and TK follows him into his room.

Nolan sprawls on his bed, and TK looks around. The room is a fucking disaster zone, clothing and crap piled everywhere, but it's not very… personal, TK decides. It looks like the inside of every war zone of a hotel room they'd ever shared, sure, but in that same vein, looks like Nolan's just waiting to be told to pack his shit up and get out without ever leaving a trace behind.

There's a desk with a chair, and TK sits heavily into it. "What the fuck happened to you?" he asks, voice quieter than it almost ever is.

Nolan tenses on the bed. "What--"

"I'm," TK says. He yanks his hat off of his head and shakes it, hair tumbling down around his ears. He's gripping the hat hard when he focuses back on Nolan. "So I'm actually not the TK you know. I'm… alternate universes are a thing, and I'm a different TK."

"You're not funny, Konecny," Nolan says, and this time there's an edge of upset in his voice, something that's telling TK he's maybe about to be even more unwelcome.

TK runs his fingers through his hair. "Your TK said he had to cut his hair after someone skated over some of it," he says. "Not me. And--"

He wants to hesitate, wants to ask more questions first, but he knows he's not the one with a lot of ground to stand on here. He unlocks his phone and hands it over silently, watching as Nolan looks down at it.

Nolan's not actually good at hiding his emotions unless he's really focusing on it; they play all over his face, all the time, and TK is good at reading them by now. He can see the shock there, the disbelief, and then something that looks suspiciously like longing before Nolan locks the phone and drops it to the bed.

"What the fuck," Nolan says, and this time his voice isn't flat, not at all.

TK swallows. "Where I'm from, you and I, we kinda make each other happy. Not that you'd ever say it that way, but it's true."

Nolan's still staring at the phone on the bed. "What," he says, and it's quieter, but there's something almost trembling about it.

"Not every universe is the same, and trust me, I've been to enough of them to know it," TK says. "But I visited the TK here first, and nothing he said about you sounded like you."

"So you're here to, what," Nolan says. His cheeks are going red, flushing like he's angry, like he's embarrassed. "To check on me? My universal saviour?"

TK blinks; he's glad he's not standing, or he'd probably take a step back. There's venom in Nolan's voice, anger and something harsh, and TK has never once heard that tone out of him, not during the worst of the fights he and his Nolan have had over the years.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "Of course not. It's… I don't really know how to explain it. I love him, and you're kinda him, and..."

Nolan's face is bright red now, and everything about him is screaming _fuck off and leave me alone._ "What, you were able to cure my tragic backstory in your universe with the power of _love_?" He spits the word out like it's a curse.

"Bud," TK says, feeling kind of helpless, feeling like he's bitten off way more than he knows how to handle. On the ice, this is where he'd turn and find someone's face to get into, but this is him and Nolan in a bedroom, and he'd _never_. "I… what?"

Nolan shoves his hands into his hair. It's long, TK notes kind of distantly; the Nolans he's encountered have almost universally had the short hair that his own Nolan currently has, and there's something that makes the Nolan in front of him seem younger, more fragile with his fingers tangled up in it. "What the fuck," he says, and it sounds like maybe he's just saying it, like it's not something TK is meant to reply to, or something he'd even be welcome to address. "How… after everything, how could _any_ me--"

"Hey," TK cuts in gently. His mind is racing, and his hands are so sweaty that pressing them to his jeans just makes him feel clammy. "I think… Nols, bud, can you maybe explain what you mean by 'tragic backstory'? I don't think my Nolan would describe all his injury shit like that, and I don't know what else is going on, bud."

Nolan looks at him. His face is still red, and there's something lost in his eyes. "The shit in Brandon," he mumbles. "All the… the thing with Chace and Matty."

TK wracks his brain, but he's coming up empty on both names. A difference, obviously, and apparently an important one. "I don't know those names," he says as gently as he can. "I don't know--"

Nolan picks up his phone and tosses it to him. "Google it. Chace Keller and Matt Stellesberg."

TK shakes his head. "Rogers," he says, glancing at his phone. "If you want to get me on the wifi--"

"One of the guys caught them in bed together," Nolan says, and he's trembling all over now. It's all TK can do to not go over and hold him, to see if he can help, but he stays firmly planted in his chair. "They were, like--making out, hands over shirts, basic second base shit. But they got caught, and--"

TK breathes out heavily. "Oh."

"I tried to stand up for them," Nolan says, voice barely above a whisper. "They… neither of them was ever gonna make the show, so I guess it was easy for management to just get rid of them. Me, though, they couldn't just get rid of."

"So they made your life a living hell," TK says. He can hear the horror in his own voice. "For how long?"

Nolan doesn't look up. "Two and a half seasons."

"Jesus fuck," TK says, swallowing hard.

"They wrote a book about it," Nolan says. "Did a bunch of interviews, the whole thing. I asked them not to… not to say it was me who stood up for them. I don't want…"

TK has never really felt anything like heartbreak; he's had breakups, sure, and things that didn't go his way, but he feels something awful open up in his chest now.

"So that's why you keep to yourself," TK says, trying not to let his voice shake, or his hands.

"People can't fuck your life over for being gay if they don't know you're gay," Nolan says. He's staring at his bed.

"Bud," Travis says, as gently as he can. "Where I'm from, where I'm at? The whole team knows, and nobody fucking cares. They even made me the You Can Play rep."

Nolan's gaze snaps to him. "Riemer gave that up?"

"Riemer's straight, and he told me he felt like he was stealing it from me," TK says, smiling slightly. "I can't swear that every single person on your version of the team is the same as mine, but I bet most of them are similar. The other me, at least, when I showed him that photo?"

Nolan's staring at him. "He was… okay? With that?"

 _He's pretty as hell,_ Other TK had said, and it wasn't exactly meant as a compliment in the moment, but TK knows himself well enough to believe what he's thinking here. "He was," TK confirms. "And, not to brag or whatever, but I'm pretty fucking good backup. He will be, too."

Nolan nods, then shrugs and looks away. "Maybe."

TK takes a deep breath in, holds it, and lets it out slowly. "G kicked a Coyote's ass for saying something homophobic on the ice about a week after I came out to the team. It wasn't even directed at me, but G heard it, and they both got five for fighting but G made sure the Coyote got thrown out for the comment. Unsportsmanlike." He waits until Nolan looks at him again. "You've got options, bud."

" _You've_ got options," Nolan says, shrugging minutely. "Me, I've got…"

"A room you can pack up in less than an hour," TK says, glancing around. "And a team that likes your hockey and would probably want to get to know the rest of you, too. You actually have a sense of humour in there somewhere."

Nolan's mouth twitches, and it's not a smile, but it's something in the same neighbourhood as one. "Maybe."

"See? A joke," TK says, grinning until Nolan cracks and grins back, just for a second. TK sighs and lets it slip from his face. "Look, I'm not gonna force you to do anything, or tell you it's a great idea to go, like, leaping out of the closet--"

"No shit," Nolan mutters.

TK dutifully ignores him. "--but I think that if you want to try, you'll be surprised in a good way about how it goes down," he finishes. "Up to you, man, but this? This isn't fucking making you happy. If you don't want to come out all the way, at least try to be a little happier."

Nolan's sigh is quiet as he closes his eyes. "Can I," he says, voice low and almost garbled. "Can I see it? Again? Just for a minute."

TK unlocks his phone and stands up, walking to the edge of the bed. "Hey, can I sit?"

Nolan's eyes open and he nods, divot appearing between his eyebrows like he's confused.

TK sits and pulls up the folder that unlocks with his fingerprint, the one of all the photos of them that he's gotten over the years. He took some, Nolan took some, and others are ones that various friends and teammates and family members have sent to him. It's a pretty good collection, TK thinks as he clicks on the first one, Nolan sacked out in his hotel room in Ottawa and TK jetpack napping behind him.

"So," he says, "last road trip, we invited Bees over for a movie night…"

-0-

TK stares at the journal, wondering what he's supposed to write, how to condense the hours he spent on Other Nolan's bed poring through his photo album into a few sentences. In the end, he writes _homophobia sucks, depression sucks, Brandon sucks_ beneath the coordinates, and then he turns the page.

-0-

"So," Other TK says, staring at TK. He's starting to lose count of how many Other TKs he's met; it's over a dozen, for sure, but probably not two dozen yet. This Other TK has hair longer than TK does, pulled back into a half-bun, and he's looking at TK with both eyebrows raised high.

TK spreads his hands wide. "Look, man, I know it sounds crazy--"

"Dude, you want me to slide into the DMs of some CIS player from Manitoba so I can hit on him," Other TK says. "Because you, a guy who looks like me, are dating a guy who looks like him, but in an alternate universe."

TK winces. "Well, when you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous."

"No shit," Other TK says dryly. He's dressed in a Flyers tee with a 36 on the chest, and TK badly wants to google who wears the number here, but he doesn't exactly want to pull his phone out in the middle of this conversation. "Dude. What the hell."

"He's great," TK tries. Nolan is, too; just because he's playing college hockey in Canada instead of living out his NHL dreams in this universe doesn't mean he's not _Nolan_. "Like, he's an asshole, and some days he barely talks, and he always sounds like he's got a sandwich in his mouth--"

"A real winner," Other TK says, rolling his eyes. "Wow. You're really selling me on this Patrick Nolan dude."

"Nolan Patrick," TK corrects, even though he knows himself well enough to know that Other TK is doing it on purpose. The little curl of his lip confirms it, as if TK didn't already know. "Also, shut the fuck up. You're an asshole, too."

"Never said I wasn't, bud," Other TK says breezily. "But, like, you gotta know I'm absolutely not doing that, right?"

TK blinks. "But--"

"But no fucking way," Other TK says emphatically. "Dude. Bro. First of all, DMs aren't, like, super secure, and I'm not hitting on a guy over DMs. Second of all, just because you like this guy doesn't mean I will. Third of all--"

"Do you ever shut up?" TK asks. "Oh my god, Simmer was right. I really do not ever shut up."

"You sure don't," Other TK agrees. "Look at it this way. If I showed up in your universe and told you to DM some random kid from, I don't know, Burnaby, you'd throw me right the fuck out of your universe."

"I have a boyfriend," TK says. "So yeah, probably."

Other TK stares at him. "Bud," he says slowly, glancing down at his chest. "Do you wear 36 in your universe? I don't wear it here."

"Nobody wears it in my universe," TK says. "Who--"

It makes Other TK' eyes go wide. "Wait," he says. "Miro's not on your team?"

"Miro," TK says, blinking at him. "Wait, Heiskanen? You're dating _Miro Heiskanen_?"

Other TK flings his arm out. "I can't believe you're _not_ ," he says. "How? He's basically the best person on the fucking planet."

"Well, he's on the Stars, for one," TK says. "Wait, wait. He went second in the draft here? Behind Hischier?"

"Yeah," Other TK says. "Wait, so your guy--"

"And Makar is on the Stars?" TK asks, trying to remember. "Everyone just moved up a spot?"

"No, Makar's on the Avalanche," Other TK says. "The Stars took a goalie. It's not going great."

"Huh," TK says. "Well, sucks to suck for them, I guess. Wow."

"Wow," Other TK agrees. "Like, super wow. Maybe it's not your guy; maybe Travis Konencys everywhere are meant to, like, be with the second overall pick from the 2017 draft."

TK snorts. "God, I hope I don't find a universe where Patty went first. I don't want any part of Hischier."

"Oh, god," Other TK says, his face going on a whole horrified journey before settling on grossed out. "Yeah, I'll pass."

"Sorry," TK offers. "I guess we both have to live with thinking about that now. That's my bad."

"Damn right it is," Other TK mutters. "Anyway, I'm glad you've got someone like I've got Miro. And I'm sure your boy has someone in Manitoba, too. Shit works out, eh?"

TK sighs. "Shit works out," he agrees. "Stay happy, I guess?"

"Will do," Other TK says, flashing him a smile. "You too. And if you and your boy are looking for a third…"

TK snorts. "Sure, yeah, I'll slide into Heiskanen's DMs and ask if he wants a long-distance thing with two dudes he's barely ever met."

"You literally just told me to do that to someone I've actually never heard of before," Other TK reminds him.

"Get away from me with your facts," TK says, narrowing his eyes and jamming at the return button on his hopper, and the last thing he hears is Other TK laughing at him as he jumps.

-0-

"So," Nolan says. They're more than halfway through the season; it's starting to wear on everyone, TK thinks, winning just a little more than they're losing, watching guys go down left and right with some pretty grotesque injuries.

"So," TK says, curling into Nolan the second he sits on the sofa. If he wanted his own cushion, TK reasons, he'd be sitting on the loveseat, not within arm's reach.

Sure enough, Nolan slings an arm around his shoulders. "Still haven't found a better me than me, eh?"

TK digs his elbow into Nolan's sternum. "Still not looking for one."

Nolan huffs out a breath, and it isn't quite a laugh, but TK decides to count it anyway. "Whatever. As long as you don't leave me for Heiskanen."

"Too Finnish," TK says. "I don't like the idea of flying over the ocean every summer. Ontario to Manitoba is more my speed."

"Well, as long as I'm convenient," Nolan says into TK's hair.

"Bud," TK says, hoping Nolan can hear the amusement in his voice, "what the fuck about us has ever been _convenient_?"

This time TK can feel the edge of Nolan's grin against his forehead, and that _definitely_ counts. "Whatever," he says instead of admitting TK is right. "What's your success rate? Give me your stats, man."

TK pulls back and narrows his eyes at Nolan. "Did you just ask for my matchmaking stats?"

Nolan's face is serious as he nods. "You've got, like, thirty shot attempts so far," he reasons. "How many are going in? What's your PDO like?"

"Oh my god," TK says, leaning back against Nolan because that's the prime position to thunk his head against Nolan's chest. "Shut up."

"I mean, look," Nolan goes on, and honestly, his ability to mumble-laugh words in a way that TK can understand is impressive. It might be more of a reflection of TK's ability to understand him, actually, so maybe TK should be giving himself more points here. "Maybe your approach could use work, that's all I'm saying--"

"If you make some sort of 'pucks in deep' joke here I will end you," TK threatens, shoving his hand beneath Nolan's sweatshirt so he can rest his fingers against Nolan's side. He might be sworn to secrecy on Nolan being ticklish, but that doesn't mean he won't use it to his advantage at every possible turn.

Nolan doesn't say anything, which is how TK knows he nailed it. "Sue me for trying to help, I guess," Nolan says after a moment, and TK is for sure taking the W on that one.

"I mean, you could come with me," TK suggests before really thinking about it.

Nolan raises one eyebrow. "You sure about that?"

"Why not?" TK asks. Just because he hadn't meant to offer it as an option doesn't mean he has bad ideas, like, ever.

"No," Nolan says. "No, this is your thing."

"Okay, well, offer's open," TK says. "If you ever want to take a vacation in another universe, I'll get you one of the nice hoppers and we can go wherever you want."

"Wherever I want," Nolan echoes. "Huh."

"What's 'huh'?" TK demands. "That's a thinking noise. You have a thought."

"I really love how you say that as an accusation," Nolan mutters. "Where's your notebook?"

TK narrows his eyes. "Why?"

"Ten seconds ago I'm allowed to go anywhere I want, but asking to see what my options are is suddenly not allowed?" Nolan replies.

"Ugh, fine," TK says. He stands up and goes into the bedroom, grabbing the notebook from the top of the dresser and glancing through it as he walks back out. "I don't know how many of these would make great tourist spots. Maybe one of the ones from the brochure--"

"No," Nolan says, holding his hand out. "One of the ones I found sounded nice. You should check it out and let me know."

"Oh," TK says, dropping the book into Nolan's hand. "Which one?"

Nolan squints at the list, then taps one near the bottom. "This one."

"Why didn't you put the nice one near the top?" TK asks, looking at the coordinates.

"In case the rest of them sucked," Nolan says. "That way you'd have a nice one near the end."

TK blinks. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Nolan says, smirking at him. "Anyway, let me know how that one is."

"Sure, yeah," TK says. "Order something to eat. I'll be back in five."

"I didn't mean..." Nolan starts.

"Five minutes," TK says, walking into the bedroom. "I'll be back before you know it."

"Take pictures," Nolan calls after him, and TK grins as he sets his hopper and goes.

-0-

TK turns his head slowly, looking from his left to his right. He's supposed to be in Philadelphia, but all he can see for miles is gently rolling green hills and trees and a distinct lack of anything remotely related to human civilisation. He checks his hopper, but it looks like this is the right address, so he frowns and looks around again.

There's a soft noise from his left and TK spins, raising his hands like he's going to fistfight whatever made the sound. He blinks, then blinks again as the pieces click together, and then he lets his hands fall to his sides as he starts laughing.

"Hey, buddy," he manages, reaching out to let the horse sniff his hand, and he glances around to see a few more horses making their way towards him. "Can I take your picture? I want to show Nolan what he looks like as a horse."

-0-

The more universes TK visits, the less he wants to keep hopping.

They're not all awful, not like the one where Nolan had the career-ending concussion. TK visits plenty of universes where they're both fine, except one of them is dating someone else, or one of them is _married_ to someone else, or one of them is straight. There are a lot of places where one of them is on a different team or doesn't play hockey at all. There are some where hockey doesn't even exist, and the farther out into the multiverse TK goes, the more he kind of just wants to stay home.

"So my success rate is above zero," he says one afternoon. He's playing idly with his hopper; he doesn't have plans to go anywhere, not this close to the playoffs, but he's gotten kind of attached to the idea that he _could,_ if he wanted. Maybe he'll hop somewhere and take a nap; that sounds nice. "That's good, right?"

"Two out of how many?" Nolan asks. He's playing Mario Kart solo, and he won't admit it's because he hates losing to Ghost when they all get together, but that's definitely why.

TK kicks lazily at his thigh. "Five universes where G and Crosby were married. That's a higher ratio or whatever."

Nolan full-body shudders, but it makes him pause and turn to look at TK. "You never did find the one where you were married to Crosby."

"Thank god," TK mutters. "Maybe that also happens to be the one where we're horses. Maybe our horse selves are married, so I never had to find out about it."

Nolan smirks, and TK rolls his eyes. He's still proud of the fact that he tricked TK into visiting the horse universe, and TK's secure enough to admit that it had been funny, but not nearly as funny as Nolan seems to think.

"Anyway," TK continues. "Most places, we're either happy together, or we're happy with other people, or we've never met and I can't convince my stubborn ass to make it happen."

"It only worked if we were already almost there, right?" Nolan asks.

"Yeah," TK says. "Which did not happen in as many places as I expected."

Nolan shrugs. "Hartsy was right, I guess."

"He's gonna be so smug," TK says. "Like, the smuggest."

Nolan shrugs again, but there's an amused glint in his eyes. "You deserve it."

"Ugh," TK announces, wrenching a pillow from behind himself and launching it at Nolan. If they weren't meant to be thrown, TK has always reasoned, then they probably shouldn't have been named _throw pillows._

Nolan's still smirking at him after he knocks the pillow away. "I'm right that Hartsy was right. Where does that leave you?"

"On the sofa," TK returns promptly. "In this universe."

"Yeah?" Nolan says. "For now, at least."

"No," TK says. He looks down at the hopper in his hands, then back up at Nolan, then back at the hopper. It's easy, simple, to lean forward and toss it lightly onto the coffee table. "I'm good here. I already figured my shit out, and other versions of me can do that too, I think."

When he looks back up, Nolan's got a single eyebrow slightly raised, which is Nolan-face for total shock. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," TK says. He can feel the smile creeping across his face, and the bigger it gets, the more he feels like he's calling the right play, like he's at home. "Yeah. I've got all the Nolan Patrick I could ever want right here. Why should I go looking for more?"

Nolan's face does something quick and complicated, and then the pillow TK had thrown at him is being shoved back into TK's face, Nolan using his weight to make it a wrestling match. TK's gasping and laughing when they finally fall off the sofa and collapse on the floor. Nolan's got his insufferable neutral face on, but he's got an arm around TK's shoulders that he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to move.

Yeah, TK thinks, rolling more fully on top of Nolan just to get that little _oof_ noise and the bitchy eyebrow tilt. Yeah, home sounds pretty good.

**Author's Note:**

> -i had way more sad ideas that i scrapped! you're welcome.
> 
> -please please please go listen to the incredible podfic and leave some love for doctor_worm, who did an amazing job!!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [you had your soul with you (Podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27485950) by [doctor_worm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctor_worm/pseuds/doctor_worm)




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